thepainted_lady: (It's not always that simple)
[personal profile] thepainted_lady
1. We both had lives before. We all have them, I guess. But for me, it's just that. Before. There's a strict line of demarcation there--my life before, and my life after. Again--I guess we can all say that--before we left our old lives, before we found this home, this family. But that's not it for me, not really. Yes, there was a renewal the moment I stepped through the gates, there was a feeling of coming home, of finding what I'd been looking for. But all of that faded into the background the next morning, because the moment life truly began again for me was the first time you touched my hand.

2. You're the only thing in my life I've ever depended on, and the only person I think I'll ever fully trust. I just wish that was enough.

3. Thank you for coming back for me. I'll make sure you never regret it. However it started, whatever we had to go through, it's all made me certain of one indisputable fact: I love you.

4. I would have given you anything. I did give you everything. There's part of me that still wishes I'd never woken up, because there's a pain that I can't seem to shake that I live with every day. There are days I can't breathe for it. But I'm not that girl anymore. I see you now, with all the blinders off. I may be alive, but you killed something precious that day. Things still hurt, but I'm stronger now, and I don't care what I feel--it's over.

5. I never wanted to let you down or hurt you, but I know I keep doing it again and again. All my best efforts seem to do nothing but backfire, when all I ever wanted was for you to be safe and loved and have a chance at everything I never did. I love you. I would do anything for you. And I hope some day you can forgive me.

6. Sometimes I wonder if things could have been different, but I'm glad you're happy now.

7. You're the most confusing person I've ever met. Normally I know exactly what someone wants from me, but no matter how hard I try, even though I can read you just fine, I can't figure you out. ...It's kind of exciting.

8. I don't think there are enough words to say, "thank you." Everything you've done, you didn't have to. I can't imagine how much we've turned your life upside down and what we've put you through, but I want you to know I'm grateful--to you and for you.

9. Sometimes I don't think it's fair to you, to be trying to build something with me, when I know I'm shattered into so many pieces I still feel them cutting at me all the time. There's so much you don't know, and that scares me. But you make me feel safe, and you make me smile, and you make me feel...hope for the first time in so long I can't remember. I'm terrified of falling for you, but I think it might be too late.

10. I didn't want to like you, but I couldn't help it. I didn't think I could forgive you, but it wasn't really that hard. I never thought I'd love you, but now I can't imagine how I ever couldn't.

Full Meme List

Date: 2011-04-26 01:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vampire-peter.livejournal.com
I'm hoping one of those is for me. *smiles*

Date: 2011-04-26 03:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vampire-peter.livejournal.com
I'm thinking #7 or #9 but I'm not 100% either. Either way, I'm glad I'm here for you.

Date: 2011-04-26 03:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thepainted-lady.livejournal.com
Pretty good. #9 it is. I'm glad you're here, too.

Date: 2011-04-26 03:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vampire-peter.livejournal.com
I'm glad that I'm at least able to make you feel a little better. You know none of your past really matters to me, just you.

Date: 2011-04-26 04:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thepainted-lady.livejournal.com
My past made me who I am, Peter.

Date: 2011-04-26 04:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vampire-peter.livejournal.com
I know it does, same as mine made me who I am. But what happened in the past isn't what matters, it's who you are now. I like who you are, past, present and future included.

Date: 2011-04-26 04:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thepainted-lady.livejournal.com
How can you say that when you don't know?

Date: 2011-04-26 04:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vampire-peter.livejournal.com
Because that's not all you are. You're more than your past, you're more than what you give yourself credit for. I just wish I could get you to see that.

Date: 2011-04-26 05:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thepainted-lady.livejournal.com
I don't want to go through this again.

Date: 2011-04-26 05:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vampire-peter.livejournal.com
I'll drop it. *for now* I am glad I can make you happy though, I like doing that.

Date: 2011-04-26 05:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vampire-peter.livejournal.com
You make it easy. *grins, kissing you*

Date: 2011-04-26 05:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thepainted-lady.livejournal.com
*kisses back* No one else's ever thought so.

Date: 2011-04-26 05:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thepainted-lady.livejournal.com
I'm glad you think so.

Date: 2011-04-26 02:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] all-heart-peter.livejournal.com
Hmm... am I in here somewhere?

Date: 2011-04-26 02:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] all-heart-peter.livejournal.com
Yeah, I could. Or I could not. *snorts* I know you have a lot of important people in your life.

Date: 2011-04-26 04:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewatchmaker.livejournal.com
I know I'm not the Sylar on your list, but I'm glad there are others making you happy.

Date: 2011-04-26 04:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thepainted-lady.livejournal.com
There's one for you, as well.
Edited Date: 2011-04-26 04:22 am (UTC)

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thepainted_lady: (Default)
Lydia

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