[M&L] 6.20 Can't Hardly Wait Quote
Jul. 7th, 2010 10:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thepainted_lady"There is fate, but it only takes you so far because once you're there, it's up to you to make it happen." ~ Can't Hardly Wait
The smell of the sea air was familiar enough that she could almost lose it out here on the Boardwalk. Caramel apples, cotton candy, popcorn and deep fried treats wafted their scents in the air, drowning out the salty tang unless you searched for it.
She wasn't searching tonight.
Leaning against a lamppost, she munched on popcorn and watched the crowd milling about under the bright lights. She closed her eyes, reaching out with her senses, along the fragile bonds of connectivity she'd forged that grew a little stronger with each passing week. Amanda was in the arcade down the way. A rather handsome young man handed out the prizes there, and Lydia was willing to lay odds Amanda was trying to get his attention. She reached out a bit further, until she found Sylar down on the beach, lurking under the wooden slats that supported the pier that held a practical carnival all around her.
After ascertaining their whereabouts, Lydia drew those emotional tendrils back into herself, contained once more, though she kept her eyes closed. The sounds of girls screaming in joy on one ride, the music pounding from another, the call of the barkers reeling people in for games swept over her, and her fingers curled into a fist in the popcorn bag, her other hand near crushing it at the punch of pain that hit hard enough she couldn't breathe.
Sometimes it was more vicious than others. Tonight, she felt tears well, a wordless grief for everything lost, but it ebbed as she took a breath, then another and another, pushing past the tightness in her chest and the lump in her throat. Bad memories eased back, and she let the sense of home wrap around her instead, reveling in the sense of familiarity in a world gone upside down.
The warm arms that slid around her waist helped, and, with a sigh, she leaned back against Sylar's chest. His lips teased at her ear, pressing a kiss there for a moment.
"You okay?" He phrased it as a question, but she knew he'd felt her distress as surely as she would have if it had been his, that he'd come running from his lurking spot to make sure she wasn't in danger.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she reassured him, and though she kept her eyes closed, she leaned back into him a bit more. "Just..."
"Homesick," he finished for her.
She opened her eyes at that, turning in his arms, so she could look up at him, framed from behind by the red and gold lights of the Ferris wheel and even that caused a bit of a twinge. Would it ever stop, she wondered. Nearly half of her life she’d spent at the Sullivan Brothers’ Carnival, and the lack of it, the lack of an extended family, it wore at her consciousness more than she could say. It wasn’t the same for him, always a bit of a loner. He had her and Amanda and they needed him, loved him, and that was enough connection. Amanda had them, and in the fall she’d have school again, and she’d already made some friends with the locals--if she missed the carnival, she didn’t say.
It was just her, then, longing for a world that didn’t exist anymore, and one for which the price would be too high, even if she wanted to return. Fate had set her on a different path. Taking a breath, she forced a smile to her lips, just for him.
"A little, but it's getting better." She tossed the popcorn in a nearby trash can, then wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing closer against him. "I registered for classes today. The ones I needed to get my diploma."
She felt as much as saw his smile, backlit as he was. "When do they start?"
"Beginning of August." She rested her forehead against his neck, eyes closing again as his fingers stroked slowly through her hair as if compelled to bury there, and she sighed a little in pleasure at the simple touch. "They said I could just get my GED, but...I figured it was a better example for Amanda if I did the classes."
He hummed something non-committal, but she could tell he approved, and that was good enough.
"I thought maybe I could look for a job over here," she continued after a moment, though she faltered as she felt the tension run through him.
"You don't need a job. I told you...I'll take care of you."
Lydia's breath caught and she pulled back, brushing her fingers over his cheek and feeling that well of uncertainty, knowing he'd taken it all wrong. "I know.” She raised up and kissed him softly but surely, pressing closer until she felt his arms tighten around her, and murmured against his lips again, “I know. I’m just...not used to being idle, to not pulling my weight...”
That had been one of Samuel’s rules--everyone contributed as they were able, with what they did best. She didn’t know how to just be taken care of the way Sylar took care of things, took care of her.
Something in her kiss seemed to reassure him where her words just fumbled in the air between them. His fingers wound in her hair, twisting a bit there until she felt a tug, and she sighed a little, a shiver running up her spine at the possessive surge that ran through him. Passion flared in the space between them, and she felt the heat of it curl in her stomach before she broke the kiss.
“You just need to feel like you’re contributing,” he murmured, resting his forehead against hers, once again touch telling more than speech. It was useful, she was finding, if disconcerting, to be read so easily. No wonder others had sometimes shied away from her.
He never did, though.
“Yeah.”
“But you are,” he pointed out. “We don’t need the money, but Amanda needs you, time with you. So do I...” His fingers were softer in her hair now. “If you want, we could start a garden in the backyard--that would give you something familiar. You liked the garden back there...”
It wouldn’t give her work experience, though, for the day he left, the day she got too old, and didn’t have anything to offer him anymore. She didn’t like thinking about that day, didn’t let it raise up in her consciousness too often. He’d feel it if she did, and she didn’t want that. It wasn’t doubt, but pragmatism she told herself, to be prepared for the inevitable hurt that would come. The longer they stayed, the more of a life they built, a home, a family, the more terrified she became at the idea of losing it all. Her first life had sucked. She’d built a new one. It had been taken away from her, too. Nothing was permanent, and she needed to at least be able to take care of herself, should he go.
But today wasn’t for that. Classes were a start, a diploma, an education. Baby steps, one at a time. She’d find her way, and he was here to help her, to love her, for as long as he could. They could make it, she just had to keep believing that. Maybe the music of the carnival would cease to have a draw. She could feel it lessening, just with him here.
“A garden,” she agreed with a small smile. Straightening, she shifted to tuck her arm through his, resting her head on his shoulder. “Let’s go home.”
She felt him smile more than she saw it, and realized it was the first time she’d used the word.
He didn’t press the issue, though, just pressed a kiss on the top of her head before leading her back toward the beach, past the arcade where Amanda waved them on, still flirting with the boy behind the counter. Sylar chuckled and tugged Lydia on down the pier toward the distant lights of the cottages that sat back from the water. “Let’s go home.”
Muse: Lydia
Fandom: Heroes
Words: 1360
Notes: Sylar is![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
heroslayer and used with love and permission.
The smell of the sea air was familiar enough that she could almost lose it out here on the Boardwalk. Caramel apples, cotton candy, popcorn and deep fried treats wafted their scents in the air, drowning out the salty tang unless you searched for it.
She wasn't searching tonight.
Leaning against a lamppost, she munched on popcorn and watched the crowd milling about under the bright lights. She closed her eyes, reaching out with her senses, along the fragile bonds of connectivity she'd forged that grew a little stronger with each passing week. Amanda was in the arcade down the way. A rather handsome young man handed out the prizes there, and Lydia was willing to lay odds Amanda was trying to get his attention. She reached out a bit further, until she found Sylar down on the beach, lurking under the wooden slats that supported the pier that held a practical carnival all around her.
After ascertaining their whereabouts, Lydia drew those emotional tendrils back into herself, contained once more, though she kept her eyes closed. The sounds of girls screaming in joy on one ride, the music pounding from another, the call of the barkers reeling people in for games swept over her, and her fingers curled into a fist in the popcorn bag, her other hand near crushing it at the punch of pain that hit hard enough she couldn't breathe.
Sometimes it was more vicious than others. Tonight, she felt tears well, a wordless grief for everything lost, but it ebbed as she took a breath, then another and another, pushing past the tightness in her chest and the lump in her throat. Bad memories eased back, and she let the sense of home wrap around her instead, reveling in the sense of familiarity in a world gone upside down.
The warm arms that slid around her waist helped, and, with a sigh, she leaned back against Sylar's chest. His lips teased at her ear, pressing a kiss there for a moment.
"You okay?" He phrased it as a question, but she knew he'd felt her distress as surely as she would have if it had been his, that he'd come running from his lurking spot to make sure she wasn't in danger.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she reassured him, and though she kept her eyes closed, she leaned back into him a bit more. "Just..."
"Homesick," he finished for her.
She opened her eyes at that, turning in his arms, so she could look up at him, framed from behind by the red and gold lights of the Ferris wheel and even that caused a bit of a twinge. Would it ever stop, she wondered. Nearly half of her life she’d spent at the Sullivan Brothers’ Carnival, and the lack of it, the lack of an extended family, it wore at her consciousness more than she could say. It wasn’t the same for him, always a bit of a loner. He had her and Amanda and they needed him, loved him, and that was enough connection. Amanda had them, and in the fall she’d have school again, and she’d already made some friends with the locals--if she missed the carnival, she didn’t say.
It was just her, then, longing for a world that didn’t exist anymore, and one for which the price would be too high, even if she wanted to return. Fate had set her on a different path. Taking a breath, she forced a smile to her lips, just for him.
"A little, but it's getting better." She tossed the popcorn in a nearby trash can, then wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing closer against him. "I registered for classes today. The ones I needed to get my diploma."
She felt as much as saw his smile, backlit as he was. "When do they start?"
"Beginning of August." She rested her forehead against his neck, eyes closing again as his fingers stroked slowly through her hair as if compelled to bury there, and she sighed a little in pleasure at the simple touch. "They said I could just get my GED, but...I figured it was a better example for Amanda if I did the classes."
He hummed something non-committal, but she could tell he approved, and that was good enough.
"I thought maybe I could look for a job over here," she continued after a moment, though she faltered as she felt the tension run through him.
"You don't need a job. I told you...I'll take care of you."
Lydia's breath caught and she pulled back, brushing her fingers over his cheek and feeling that well of uncertainty, knowing he'd taken it all wrong. "I know.” She raised up and kissed him softly but surely, pressing closer until she felt his arms tighten around her, and murmured against his lips again, “I know. I’m just...not used to being idle, to not pulling my weight...”
That had been one of Samuel’s rules--everyone contributed as they were able, with what they did best. She didn’t know how to just be taken care of the way Sylar took care of things, took care of her.
Something in her kiss seemed to reassure him where her words just fumbled in the air between them. His fingers wound in her hair, twisting a bit there until she felt a tug, and she sighed a little, a shiver running up her spine at the possessive surge that ran through him. Passion flared in the space between them, and she felt the heat of it curl in her stomach before she broke the kiss.
“You just need to feel like you’re contributing,” he murmured, resting his forehead against hers, once again touch telling more than speech. It was useful, she was finding, if disconcerting, to be read so easily. No wonder others had sometimes shied away from her.
He never did, though.
“Yeah.”
“But you are,” he pointed out. “We don’t need the money, but Amanda needs you, time with you. So do I...” His fingers were softer in her hair now. “If you want, we could start a garden in the backyard--that would give you something familiar. You liked the garden back there...”
It wouldn’t give her work experience, though, for the day he left, the day she got too old, and didn’t have anything to offer him anymore. She didn’t like thinking about that day, didn’t let it raise up in her consciousness too often. He’d feel it if she did, and she didn’t want that. It wasn’t doubt, but pragmatism she told herself, to be prepared for the inevitable hurt that would come. The longer they stayed, the more of a life they built, a home, a family, the more terrified she became at the idea of losing it all. Her first life had sucked. She’d built a new one. It had been taken away from her, too. Nothing was permanent, and she needed to at least be able to take care of herself, should he go.
But today wasn’t for that. Classes were a start, a diploma, an education. Baby steps, one at a time. She’d find her way, and he was here to help her, to love her, for as long as he could. They could make it, she just had to keep believing that. Maybe the music of the carnival would cease to have a draw. She could feel it lessening, just with him here.
“A garden,” she agreed with a small smile. Straightening, she shifted to tuck her arm through his, resting her head on his shoulder. “Let’s go home.”
She felt him smile more than she saw it, and realized it was the first time she’d used the word.
He didn’t press the issue, though, just pressed a kiss on the top of her head before leading her back toward the beach, past the arcade where Amanda waved them on, still flirting with the boy behind the counter. Sylar chuckled and tugged Lydia on down the pier toward the distant lights of the cottages that sat back from the water. “Let’s go home.”
Muse: Lydia
Fandom: Heroes
Words: 1360
Notes: Sylar is
heroslayer and used with love and permission.
