Frowning, he shifted away from her, his fingers hooking under her jaw to raise her head to him so that he could hold her eyes steadily, seriously. "You make it sound so -- so cold. Like I don't want to be here with you and Amanda. Like you're just some sort of vacation from everything that's going on outside." He shook his head. "It's not that. This isn't ... "
Again, he shook his head, huffing out a sigh as he searched for a way to put it into his words. He cared about them. Loved her, adored Amanda. His desire to do something greater wasn't because he wanted to escape them or the life they'd made, he just needed to be in motion, needed doing something. In the last however many years and barring the prison Matt had crafted for him, he hadn't stopped once. He'd always been on the move, restless and working towards some sort of goal -- hell, even before he'd become a monster he'd always kept busy, working ridiculous hours at his shop in an effort to both keep busy and avoid his mother -- and to have everything just stop suddenly? It was strange. Wrong.
He wanted to go back to it, to having something to do, to work for, to fight for, but he wanted her there with him, at his side. He decided to point that out, assuming she couldn't see it under his skin. "I need something to do, but I need you there, too."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2011-03-20 06:36 pm (UTC)Again, he shook his head, huffing out a sigh as he searched for a way to put it into his words. He cared about them. Loved her, adored Amanda. His desire to do something greater wasn't because he wanted to escape them or the life they'd made, he just needed to be in motion, needed doing something. In the last however many years and barring the prison Matt had crafted for him, he hadn't stopped once. He'd always been on the move, restless and working towards some sort of goal -- hell, even before he'd become a monster he'd always kept busy, working ridiculous hours at his shop in an effort to both keep busy and avoid his mother -- and to have everything just stop suddenly? It was strange. Wrong.
He wanted to go back to it, to having something to do, to work for, to fight for, but he wanted her there with him, at his side. He decided to point that out, assuming she couldn't see it under his skin. "I need something to do, but I need you there, too."