"A baby is God's opinion that life should go on." - Carl Sandburg (For <lj site="livejournal.com" us

[thepainted_lady]

Lydia was normally a very patient, serene sort of person. She didn't get frazzled easily, she dealt well with the foibles of her family and could soothe ruffled feathers and the more...volatile personalities that surrounded her with soft touches and gentle smiles. They depended on her for it, without knowing they did, she sometimes thought, and she played her role of steadier influence to the somewhat frenetic energy of the carnival as Joseph had before her without a murmur. It suited her, and let her bury any of her own turmoil away in soothing routines and find strength in familiarity to bolster an innate fragility she let very few see.

But for the moment, she was done, and for the last couple of weeks had been riding an edge she couldn't quite seem to balance upon. Everything hurt. She was as liable to burst into tears as smile. The first couple of months of her third trimester had been filled with a sense of well-being, for the most part, but while she could capture moments of that here and there, it seemed to have disappeared in a wave of impatience. Also, the frequent Braxton Hicks contractions and cramping had her sending for Sarah, the midwife, enough the past couple of weeks that the poor woman finally just had her trailer moved next to Lydia and Samuel's for the duration.

Of course, after that, Lydia managed to figure out what the fake ones felt like. What? She hadn't been pregnant in 16 years! Your mind made this part foggy, she was sure. Otherwise no one would go through it again and the human race would die out.

With a sigh, she sat back in the chair under the canopy and watched the family going about the day's work. She couldn't help. Couldn't really do anything. Couldn't do her act. Couldn't do chores--because she mostly did the gardening, and she couldn't get down on the ground and back up. She had been helping with dinner, still, but the last week Mrs. Comey had even shooed her away from that. Everyone was fussing, making a big deal, and while that was lovely in small doses, Lydia wasn't used to being, well, useless. But they all kept telling her to rest, so, even though she couldn't even sit comfortably, she was resting.

She'd been having vague cramping since she woke up, but since it had been coming and going for two weeks now, she just shifted and tried to ignore it. It didn't go away, though. In fact...they hadn't stopped all morning. Not too bad, not too close, but consistent. Reaching for her tea, she had to pause as one hit that made her catch her breath. None of them had done that again. It passed, and she started counting. At five minutes, another one hit, just as strong. She counted again. Five minutes, another.

There was a part of her that was almost afraid to move, to call out to any of the myriad family members passing by, either because she'd jinx it, or it would be another false alarm. When her water broke a half hour later, though, she couldn't stop the soft squeak of surprise. She needed to get up, needed to find someone, needed to call out and ask someone to get someone--Samuel, Sarah, someone.

Still looking down at her soaked skirts, she struggled to push out of the chair, then looked up in stunned surprise when a warm hand closed around her elbow to help her. Sylar was there with a wry smile on his lips, and she tried to hide the surprise that grew at the source of help.

"I heard you..." He trailed off, as if he didn't really want to accuse her of squeaking, or wasn't quite sure what to describe that sound as, but she nodded. "Is the baby coming?"

She nodded. "Would you get Samuel for me? And Sarah?"

"Yeah. Let's get you inside first."

She was glad of the help, not sure she could manage even the couple of steps back up into the trailer, especially as another contraction hit, and she bit her lip not to whimper. He waited patiently, then handed her up the steps and in the door.

"Thanks..."

His lips curved into something that was almost a smile, and he nodded, then moved off across the way. She made her way back to the bedroom, stripping it to put down the older sheets and blankets she'd set aside back on instead. That done, she moved back into the main room, determined to stay on her feet as long as she could. Moving helped a bit, plus she was too nervous to sit down, yet. She'd done this in a hospital with Amanda, drugged, and she couldn't help but remember Samuel's warnings about what his mother went through with his birth.

Nerves were only to be expected.

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[thepainted-lady.livejournal.com]

Lydia leaned back against the pillows, anxious to see her daughter and a yet a little too tired to even think about sitting up and reaching for her. She sent Samuel a pleased smile, his words a relief. His relief was palpable even without touching him, mingling with hers, but for the moment she was glad he'd withdrawn just a little. She did feel raw, exposed, inside and out.

The feeling didn't go away when Sarah brought the infant to her, laying her in her arms, so Lydia could look at her the first time. She shivered, holding back the gasp at the flood of...confusion almost, and exhaustion. She supposed, then, that if giving birth was hard, being born had to be pretty damn traumatizing, and she snuggled her daughter close.

"It's okay," she murmured. "You're here, and safe, and your Daddy and I are not going to let anything hurt to you..."

[offering-hope.livejournal.com]

Samuel brought a hand up to his mouth and brushed his thumb over his lower lip, his other hand still nested in Lydia's hair, trying to figure out what was going on in her head. It didn't occur to him to think that she could read their daughter, though he was perceptive enough to notice the shiver, at least, and it had struck him as odd. Something beyond just seeing her for the first time.

Thoughts of figuring out what, exactly, he was missing evaporated when she called him Daddy, however, pride and joy replacing any worry he might have had, a dumb smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Daddy. He was a daddy. Wouldn't Joseph have been surprised, if he were with them now.

[thepainted-lady.livejournal.com]

The two of them were at odds in their emotional relationship--the baby seeking some comfort, though she seemed to like Lydia's voice, to recognize it somehow, and Samuel so happy. Her own joy and relief more matched his, but she still settled in to trying to reassure the infant in her arms, even as she let herself sink a bit more into the pillows and Samuel's touch. She glanced up at him finally, catching the smile on his face, and found herself echoing it.

"She's perfect. And a little confused by all the...strangeness. She's seeing for the first time. We've just been voices to her before now..." Even if they were still probably blurry to her--Lydia wasn't really sure how quickly eyesight sharpened or anything.

[offering-hope.livejournal.com]

He glanced between the two of them, faint surprise registering on his face and under his skin. The fact that she could sense their child's emotions shouldn't have come as a shock, but he'd be lying if he said it didn't for whatever reason. "You can feel what she's feeling?"

[thepainted-lady.livejournal.com]

Lydia nodded a little, watching him, then felt her gaze dragged back to the baby. "More than I've ever felt anyone..." Even Amanda, which probably wasn't that big of a surprise. She'd been all of sixteen when she'd given birth to Amanda, her ability still in its own infancy of manifestation. Now there was a wall ringing between them, one she didn't know fully how to breach. She could breach it with touch, use her ability in an active sense, but there wasn't this easy flow.

[offering-hope.livejournal.com]

Samuel continued to study the both of them for a moment, then offered Lydia a crooked smile, dropping his hand away from his mouth so she could see it. "I have to say, Lydia ... I might be more than a little jealous."

[thepainted-lady.livejournal.com]

Sarah was bustling around quietly, cleaning things up and taking care of what needed to be taken care of while they talked, but she suppressed a smile at that.

Lydia looked up, a little startled and worried, until she saw the smile. Even so, she nibbled on her lower lip for a moment, uncertain just how much was serious and how much was teasing. "Do you want to hold her?" she finally offered.

[offering-hope.livejournal.com]

He smiled a bit wider, both at the offer and to try and reassure her -- he had to admit he was a touch jealous, but the statement itself had been a joke -- and then nodded. "I'd love to."

[thepainted-lady.livejournal.com]

It wasn't easy to let go of her, only partly because of the bond there and the desire to hold her close. There was a physical awkwardness, too, in making the transfer to another's arms that Lydia wasn't used to, yet, and she was so very careful, supporting her head, as she shifted a little to place the baby in Samuel's arms.

[offering-hope.livejournal.com]

Samuel took the baby from her carefully, making sure to keep her head supported -- for as little as he knew about pregnancy, he at least understood babies, this not the first child born to the carnival nor the first he'd held -- and cradled her against his chest carefully. And while he'd said it before, he couldn't help but repeat himself, "She's beautiful."

[thepainted-lady.livejournal.com]

Watching him hold her made her heart hurt, in the good way, like it was too full to hold anything else. Lydia's eyes filled up with tears and she leaned back a little bit into the pillows as Sarah withdrew to give them some privacy.

"I can't believe she's ours..."

[offering-hope.livejournal.com]

"Neither can I."

He shifted, perching on the edge of the bed so that Lydia could see their daughter and him both, and brushed his fingers over the child's forehead lightly. He still wondered if he was too old to be a father, if he'd still be alive to see her grow up, but right now, holding their daughter in his arms, it didn't worry him as badly as it might have while Lydia was still pregnant.

[thepainted-lady.livejournal.com]

Lydia leaned against him a little, letting his emotion run through her as she reached out to trace a careful finger down their daughter's cheek. She couldn't stand the loss of contact, apparently, but the simple touch helped. The easing of his worry--something that had been a constant in her awareness for a while now--made her heart lift a little, too.

"You still like Rebecca?"

[offering-hope.livejournal.com]

"I do," Samuel answered, nodding. He brushed his fingers over their daughter's forehead again, then glanced back at her. "Having second thoughts? Or are you still just as set as I am?"

[thepainted-lady.livejournal.com]

She gave a brief thought to Becky and the -- justifiable -- anger the girl carried. It hadn't occurred to her at first, and she had a couple of moments of doubt here and there, but she still liked it a lot. "Not really," she said with a smile. "Just wondered how Becky might react." She reached to touch his hand, lightly. "I do think she should have your last name."

It tied her to the carnival and hers...hers was cursed, in her head.

[offering-hope.livejournal.com]

"Tell the truth, I hadn't thought of that." Now that he did, though, he imagined Becky would be jealous. There were, of course, ways around that, though, and he wet his lips with his tongue before suggesting one. "If worse comes to worst, I can always tell her we named the baby after her."

Not that that would be true, but it'd at least keep Becky from doing anything ... explosive.

[thepainted-lady.livejournal.com]

Lydia looked vaguely amused, though she was too tired to do more than give him a smile and then look back down at Rebecca.

"That's a definite option," she agreed. "She'd believe it--it might even make her more protective." Which wasn't a bad thing in these times. One more hand at their back was always a good thing.

[offering-hope.livejournal.com]

"I was hoping the same thing," he agreed, flashing her a lopsided smile before looking away to their daughter again. Lydia would, of course, have to forgive him that he seemed more interested in their child than he was her, at the moment. He was fairly certain he couldn't be blamed.

[thepainted-lady.livejournal.com]

Far from blame, Lydia's gaze flickered back to him with something even softer than the usual adoration she lavished in his direction. The sight of their daughter in his arms was not something she'd ever expected to see in all these years. Even the last nine months part of her had been waiting for something to go wrong. At the moment, it seemed nothing in the world could make this glow go away.

"Have you ever seen anything so perfect?"

[offering-hope.livejournal.com]

"Only one thing," he answered, not looking at her but offering her a knowing smile all the same. "Only her mother. Which, speaking of, her mother should get some rest, shouldn't she, Rebecca?"

[thepainted-lady.livejournal.com]

Lydia blushed in pleasure and delight at the compliment. "I think I could sleep for a year. She probably needs to, too. Being born is hard work..." She could still feel the baby's emotions, flickering and confused as they were.

[offering-hope.livejournal.com]

"I can only imagine."

Though as good an idea as putting Rebecca to bed probably was, he had no idea what to do with her. Did he give her back to Lydia and let the two of them sleep together? Did he take her to the crib they'd picked out for her? He should have read one of those pregnancy books Lydia had gotten her hands on, he decided -- not that he would have had time, but still -- and looked over at her, pulling his lower lip between his teeth to nibble at it thoughtfully.

[thepainted-lady.livejournal.com]

Lydia deduced his dilemma quickly enough and held out her arms again for the baby. "She might get hungry soon....we can both sleep here.." She remembered doing that with Amanda, and that had been recommended in a few books. "She''s probably really disoriented with the whole...out in then world thing..." And Lydia's body was what she knew, its warmth hers for so long.

She bit her lower lip. "Will you keep a check on us, though? I don't want to accidentally roll on her..." Which apparently every mother worried about and no one actually did.

[offering-hope.livejournal.com]

He handed their daughter back to her carefully, the moved to perch on the edge of the bed. He was tired, too -- not as exhausted as her, he was sure, but enough so from the worry and fear he'd been shouldering over the course of the last few days -- but he wouldn't sleep. She asked him to watch over her, so he would, and he let her know that without words, instead simply combing his fingers through her hair lightly.

[thepainted-lady.livejournal.com]

Lydia wrapped her arms carefully round Rebecca, settling her down against her, in the covers, between the two of them. She tucked the blanket lightly around her, sensing a potential chill to the newborn, before she snuggled down in the bed herself. The hand not tucked around the baby reached for his other hand as she let her eyes close, exhaustion wiping over her.

"I love you..." It was meant for him, but the words encompassed them both.